Flipping the Switch

I may have said this before, but I feel like there’s a switch that gets flipped as soon as you graduate from college.

Let’s call it the “I’m getting too old for this shit” switch.

Every now and again I’ll do something or go somewhere I used to love in college and the switch will flip–just like that.

Now, I’m not talking about things I used to do as a little baby freshman in college, like drinking a whole bottle of UV Blue and then not being able to even glance at a bottle of it without gagging. Or even when I would go to a house party of a friend-of a friend-of a friend, only to get rejected after being asked, “who do you even know here?”

I’m talking about things that I used to do senior year –as in last year–that signal the switch to flip.

For instance, I’ll head out to my old favorite college bar with some friends (who are still in college, by the way) and look around thinking that there’s no reason for people to be shotgunning Redbulls or wear those damn cranberry colored shorts with chambray or blue Ralph Lauren Polo button-downs. And you know as soon as you look at them that there’s a good chance they’re a Roman numeral boy with a membership to the country club and a key to daddy’s Range Rover. The switch just flips and I’m outta there.

It also switches with the boys I date.

When I’m at a boy’s apartment and I’m staring at a Kim Kardashian poster circa the early 2000s or a flag tacked on the wall, I can’t help but get the sudden urge to run. And run far.

Or if I have to sit on a so-called “chair” that’s actually a bean bag, I’m running like the wind out of that place, no matter how adorable that boy might be.

Maybe it’s just because I’m no longer in college and have experienced actual real, bill paying, 401k investing, cooking things that are not from a box, life.

There are some days when I wish I could go back, but then I remember all the things that made me flip the switch and I think that some things are better left in the past.

Until next time,

C. Brooks

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